One common struggle of being a military spouse is moving to a new city or base and not knowing anyone. It can feel lonely; but it does have to be! You can begin meeting new people soon with these ideas.
Tinkergarten classes allows children to explore nature and you may even meet some new-mom friends if you are a parent wanting to find someone to do play-dates with in the future.
You can begin meeting new people easily by booking a hair stylist, dentist, massage therapist, nail tech, doctor and all the essentials and services you probably will want to use in your new town. Unsure of who to book? Do a simple online search and read some reviews of people who show up in your search. It may take some time to find the perfect service providers but why not get a head start?
When you happen to ever meet friendly cashiers, bartenders and whomever…ask them if they know of any cool things for people new to the town to explore. You may learn of new tourist attractions you have yet to visit or groups to join.
Since people in customer service and hospitality professions meet a lot of people; they tend to know quite a bit about happenings in their area. If they are not busy; they tend to discuss all the fun spots to try out in the area if you ask. Sometimes it gives those working for tips a perfect excuse to break the ice and make you comfortable as the customer…so why not ask?
Do you have any hobbies like hiking or photography? Try exploring nature parks and find your favorite spots. When you get to know your neighbors better… Ask your new neighbors if they would like to ever tag along. Some people love walking or hiking in groups for safety.
Speaking of neighbors; once you are new to the neighborhood maybe introduce yourself or send over a bouquet of flowers in person. I tend to keep to myself when it comes to neighbors but I think meeting once briefly is still a friendly gesture.
I do not think it is ever okay for people to join clubs, groups or organizations to promote a business opportunity or manipulate anyone. There are people genuinely wanting friends who get scammed by some just trying to promote some pyramid scheme or recruit them into buying some protein shake. I say this because it used to happen to me a lot. Especially when I worked at a fitness center or would use social media. I would get preyed on a ton by women and men who were not my real friends but seen I was a new military spouse. Military spouses are easy targets often to scams because they are eager to meet new friends at times or make money from home since they relocate often.
Be cautious with a lot of groups out there that are asking for money or promoting work from home. It is so easy to be taken advantage of when someone seems to genuinely care about your life and family. When I was a young military spouse; people immediately would try to be relatable to me and then go on to promote their business.
There is nothing wrong with people networking or promoting their business…there are just appropriate platforms or groups for that. In my area we have plenty of business professional groups. Now that you have been warned of scams out there; let’s get to how you can meet some awesome new friends in your area.
Want to be productive and possibly make a friend? Join fitness classes. Fitness centers typically are much cheaper and includes classes…but I find classes way more personable. Many offer a free trial class! Look into Pilates, yoga, dance…you may find something fun!
Anytime I have went to smaller fitness studios the employees all seem friendly and I leave feeling great about myself for working out and meeting new people doing positive things.
If you have a job in sales such as in real estate...I would go out to eat alone; a lot. At safe places that feel classy and have a nice atmosphere. Usually it would be a spot a friend of mine worked so if I went during slower hours we could chat some.
It would be shocking how many new clients I would meet that way who were professional, kind and small-business owners. This is advice for people who perhaps do real estate or any form of sales and are over the same boring networking groups.
If you try groups in your area such as as mom groups…give it time! It will take patience to find the group of people that “click” with. Do not be hard on yourself if a group does not seem like a good fit or welcoming. You never have to go back and most of the time; people want others to be apart of the groups they organize.
You may not be interested in getting too involved in the Family Readiness Group but it is worth a try. You never know who you may meet.
If you are a mom; try getting involved in the PTA or becoming a home room mom. Enroll your children in mom and me classes or sports. Moms may be interested in groups such as Moms Club or MOPS; which seemed more faith-based. Usually you can begin your own group pretty inexpensive if none exist just yet where you reside.
It could be cheaper to just start your own group on Facebook for parents or like-minded individuals to just get together or meet. Spreading the word would be the next step. You could make fliers, promote at vendor events or put ads in newspapers.
Group members can all meet at public spots and pay their own way for meals or admission costs at events or gatherings. You could meet quarterly at your own home once you’re comfortable with regular attendees…and make get-togethers pot-luck style.
There is also an app called Peanut to chat or get to know other moms in your local area. Some moms in my area actually meet up for play groups once they connect on the app.
You may want to do a search on social media for groups in your area by typing in your city then something such as book clubs or mom groups.
There is an app called Meetup in which you can use a desktop version as well. Meetup has plenty of groups for people of all walks of life to participate in.
I have tried quite a few meetup groups in my area. Some groups get together for book clubs, play dates, short trips, fine dining, bowling and more.
Bumble BFF is a section for meeting friends but be cautious; some are only out there to promote their business...which is odd since there is a section strictly for that on Bumble! This is another predatory practice of some people who take their recruiting a tad too far...which is why this has become one of my least favorite ways to meet people. I have far better luck just being myself and meeting people in person when I happen to get out for a bite to eat.
If you enjoy volunteering you may look into doing something like that. Your family may even want to get involved if some live close by. You may even look into Junior League.
Some people find a lot of support by joining a church or Bible study. In my area there are non denominational churches a lot of people my age enjoy since there are so many groups to get involved with.
Why not meet others by doing jobs in your area? One option is applying to become a baby-sitter, nanny or tutor if you love working with children. You can set your own schedule and choose who you wish to work with. This is a wonderful way to meet others OR to find baby-sitting for your own family if ever in need.
Check with your craft stores, libraries and community centers in your area. My area offers classes and some are free of charge. I have been to free yoga classes and story times for children. When free festivals are advertised online; I use it as an excuse to take my child to sight see. We make the best of it!
Have you thought about joining a country club? It is a nice way to golf, exercise or enjoy a bite to eat if they are anything like the country clubs where I have lived. Some may be a drive but worth it to go to once or twice a week...especially since some offer baby-sitting! Some have fantastic events, parties and classes.
If there is a community college or trade school nearby; it would be a nice idea to continue your education if that is something you have been wanting to do. College is filled with people of different walks of life, ages and personalities. This is an incredible way to boost your self-confidence as well by reaching some goals while you get human interaction.
My last suggestion would be finding a part-time job in a work place that is more laid-back and flexible. Some child care centers hiring even allow you to bring your own children. A lot of restaurants tend to be pretty flexible with schedules due to high turn overs. Working outside of the home is a perfect way to get social interaction...but I do not think it is best to make friends at work. I have made incredible friends at work places but you know what I mean...
Until next time!
- The Modern Army Wife
